Writing your own wedding vows – reflect, write and rehearse.

Wedding vows

Vows are about you and your partner and only need to reflect you and your relationship. They should have some structure so that you end up saying what you want, in the way that you want.

Use the steps below to help you compose your own meaningful vows.

Decide if

  • you both want to write your own vows
  • your vows are going to be the same or different.  

 Agree on

  • the length of the vows. They are usually 150 – 300 words but also consider how long it takes you to say them (usually 1 – 2 minutes).
  •  the format – rhyming, telling a story, statements.
  • the sentiment – serious, humorous, mushy or a healthy mix of all three.

Brainstorm – on your own, write down all the words that come to mind in response to

  • why you love him/her
  • what are her/his quirks and qualities
  • what your strengths are as a couple
  • how you have fun
  • how you feel when you’re together
  • your vision of the marriage
  • how you see life together
  • what marriage means to you
  • what you are promising
  • why you are doing it

Put these words into categories, like

  •   past, present and future; or
  •   partner’s best qualities, your relationship, vision for your marriage.

Start telling the story with

  • a beginning – how/why you fell in love
  •  a middle – your relationship and what you most value in it
  • an end – your vision of the future relationship and your promises/vows.

How to deal with the nerves/panic/heart palpitations brought on by public speaking

  • The ’public’ is made up of people who know and love you.
  • Most of them are also terrified of speaking in front of a group, so they will be immediately sympathetic and/or empathetic.
  • Practise lots – in front of a mirror, the dog, a row of teddy bears or anything else that gives the impression of an audience.
  • Give a copy of what you have written to the celebrant, so that s/he can prompt you if needed.
  • Take your time – speak slower than you normally would. That way, your mouth can keep up with your brain and vice versa.
  • Don’t forget to breathe.

 And if all else fails, here are some ready-made ones that might inspire you 

I, Matthew, take you, Emily, to be my awful wedded wife, to have and to scold, from this day fast forwarded for better but not worse, for richer, and poorer, forget sickness only in health, to loathe and to cherish, till suspicious death do we part. 

I promise to love you even when you refuse to let me watch the football, to cherish you even when you blow one week’s salary on yet another handbag, and to understand you even when you are mad at me because of something that happened in a dream. 

I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog, Spot. From this day forward, I will lint-roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits. I promise to cuddle with you as much as I do Spot and pick you up treats whenever he gets some, too. 

Vows taken from http://www.inspiredbride.net/2013/01/03/hilarious-wedding-vows/